


Happy Now

by PR Zed (przed)



Category: Take That
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-03 19:25:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2878784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/przed/pseuds/PR%20Zed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since Jason has left the band, he's happy now.  But what about Howard?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [soundofthesurf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soundofthesurf/gifts).



> A birthday present for the lovely [soundofthesurf](http://archiveofourown.org/users/soundofthesurf/pseuds/soundofthesurf).

Jay was easy to spot.

As he stepped out of the train, he gave a friendly nod to the conductor standing on the platform, said something to the older woman who was following him that made her laugh, shifted a tatty (Jay would say "comfortably worn in") knapsack onto his shoulder, and headed for the exit. He walked down the platform, his step light, with a ready smile for everyone he met. 

Watching him from an out-of-the-way corner, Howard thought he looked healthy and handsome and happy. Happier than Howard had seen him look, well, ever really. It was as if for the first time since they'd met, he was moving through the world without an invisible weight pulling him down, a weight that at various times had been called obligation, duty, fame, and Nigel Fucking Martin Smith.

As he waited for Jason to notice him, the knowledge that Jay was more contented being out of the band than he'd ever been in it gave Howard a pang. Take That wasn't the same without Jason, but it helped to know that they'd all done the right thing, that Jay really was happy now. As Jay approached him, he struggled to swallow around a stinging in his throat. 

"Dougie!" Jason had seen him, was heading towards him with a grin that had gone even wider. Howard smiled back, letting Jay's obvious pleasure override his own mixed feelings. He gave Jason a hug that was enthusiastically returned, fought over carrying Jay's knapsack—Jay insisted it wasn't very heavy, and he was right, but Jay was going to be his guest and he fucking well wasn't going to let a guest carry his own bags—and directed him to the back street where he'd parked the car. All the while Jay chatted on about how his family was doing and what he'd been up to and what he thought of their performances so far. ("The song's brilliant, and the three of you are singing really well together, but those shoes, How. Whose idea were those shoes?")

Jason kept up the chatter as he navigated London traffic, and if Howard was a bit quieter than usual, Jason didn't seem to notice.

When they got to his house, Howard dropped Jay's knapsack at the bottom of the stairs—time enough to decide where he was sleeping later—and shooed him into the lounge while he made tea for them both. By the time he made it back to the lounge with two mugs, green tea for Jason and good old orange pekoe for himself, Jason had shed his coat, his scarf and even his socks and was sitting on the couch, bare feet curled up underneath him, arms spread wide on the couch's back.

"How much time do you have?" Jason asked.

"A couple of days." Howard sat beside him, putting the mugs down on the coffee table before settling in beside Jason, but just out of reach. "I have to drive to Germany for Christmas with Lola, then back here for a day with Grace. And after New Year, promotion starts up again." 

Christ, just listing everything coming up made him feel tired, made him feel like he didn't have nearly enough time. 

He'd been so excited when Jason had sent him a text asking if he could stay with him for a few days before Christmas. He'd missed having Jason as his partner-in-crime during all their promotion stops. But more than that, he'd thought that maybe this was the time that the almost thing that had existed between them since the very start would stop being almost and become something real. The timing had looked like it could work out. He'd been single for months, since he and Katie had fallen apart in slow motion over the past year, and Jason seemed to be as unattached as ever. But really, their timing was as shit as it had always been. There was too little time for anything to happen.

That was even assuming Jason wanted something to happen. After all, he'd never actually talked to Jay about how he felt, about the attraction he felt. There was always the chance that it was all in his own head. After all, Jason was clearly doing well without him.

He let his head fall back against the couch, and closed his eyes, the puncturing of his hope merging with exhaustion and draining him of every last bit of energy he felt.

He felt something prod his leg and opened his eyes to find Jason's bare toe poking him in the thigh.

"Don't think too much, Dougie," Jason said, unleashing one of his devastating and utterly open smiles on him. 

"Oi, I'm not like you."

"And I'm not quite what you think I am." Jason's smile didn't fade at all. "I heard that interview. The one on BBC2. What did you say? 'If I was gay I couldn't be his boyfriend.'"

Howard felt his face flush, wishing to fuck he'd managed to keep his mouth shut during that fucking interview. Because if ever he'd said something that wasn't true…

"You said I was annoying," Jason continued. "That I was too deep."

"I didn't mean it," Howard broke in. "Not really."

"What _did_ you mean?" Jason's smile was gone. He cocked his head, looking at him with an expression that Howard found utterly impossible to read. 

"I don't know," Howard said, his courage failing him now, when he needed it the most.

"C'mon, Dougie." Jason eased closer to him until Howard could feel the heat of him down his right side. "Tell me." Now he was so close that Howard could feel the breath of his words touch the skin of his cheek.

Howard opened his mouth, but he couldn't make himself form words, wasn't even sure what words he wanted to say. Instead, he reached out, slowly, oh so slowly, and touched Jason's face with his fingertips. The contact felt like an electric shock, one they both flinched from.

"Howard," Jason said quietly, even as he raised his own hand and took hold of Howard's. "Tell me if I'm wrong."

Before Howard quite understood what he meant, Jason was leaning in, his expression serious, his movements slow and deliberate. The touch of his lips on Howard's was gentle and tentative. Too tentative.

Howard shifted and sighed and reached out his free hand, putting it on the back of Jason's close-shorn head and breathing in the taste of him. They wriggled and rolled until Howard ended up on his back on the couch, with Jason on top of him. Jason's mouth was cool and tasted like tea. Howard craned his neck up, trying to deepen their kiss.

Jason let his tongue play with Howard's, then putting his hands on Howard's chest, he slowly eased up. He sat straddling Howard's hips, one hand resting on Howard's chest as the other reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together.

"Am I too annoying?" Jason asked.

"No."

"Am I too deep?"

"No." Howard shook his head for emphasis.

"Do you think you could be my boyfriend?"

Howard took in a deep breath before he spoke.

"Do you think you could be mine?" he asked.

Jason's eyes widened in surprise, as if it was a question he hadn't expected.

"Yeah," he finally said, then squeezed Howard's middle with his legs. "Now answer my question."

Howard reached up, grabbed Jason's shirt with one fist, pulled him down, and kissed him rotten.

"That enough of an answer for ya?" he asked when he finally released the hold on Jay's shirt.

Jason grinned down at him and nodded. Howard couldn't help but smile back.

It wasn't going to be easy. The other boys were going to take the piss, and they'd have to make sure the press didn't find out. (If Jason hated the press attention he got for being in Take That, Howard knew he'd lose his mind with what the fucking tabloids would do to him if he was the boyfriend of a member of Take That.) But Howard didn't fucking care.

Jason was happy now, and so was he.


End file.
